Enduring the Countdown...

Wowsers, I had to go to the hospital this morning to have my paperwork and all my labs done. It made it almost too real for me. I think I am more nervous than I thought I would be. There is a lot going on and sometimes I don't feel like I can wrap my head around it.

I was thinking that I would be coming home on Saturday but the nurse today told me that realisticly I should be looking at Sunday. I have never stayed in the hospital that long. I know I will be out of it a lot so there is no need in keeping Brian home from the family reunion but I have this underlying fear of what if something goes wrong, or what if I get really lonely for him?

My mom will be there a lot for me but there is just something from having Brian there. I told him that on Thursday, surgery is set for Wednesday morning, he needs to bring the kids in to see me. At that point I won't be so out of it from the anesthesia and want to give my babies hugs and kisses before they go away for the weekend.

So I am trying to think of what to take and what I will need or won't need. What needs to be done at the house before I won't be able to do anything. Who needs to be called or emailed before I go into the hospital. That on top of the fact that I am not running on all engines right now anyways and have been down for a while so my house is lacking a good cleaning and I know I won't be able to do it before hand. All I need to do is kill myself before surgery. No one has ever died from a mom being out of business for a while right? I need to not have so much anxiety over it, everything will be fine. It's just my nerves are shot from lack of sleep, the chronic pain I have been in and I have never had as big a surgery as this will be.

So with that note, I know I am behind in my daily tributes, they might be put on hold for a bit, but I haven't forgotten. I will try and make regular posts and you might get more than you ask for since playing on my computer might be the only thing I get to do after Wednesday. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate them all. Have a great week, I won't 'remember half of it:)