My Body hates me...or does it? Part 1

If you go to my family blog www.btshgillman.blogspot.com you can read my lengthy medical history. So that will save me some typing and some of you some duplicated reading. So I also posted on the family blog that Brian, my husband, and I have decided to go ahead with the hysterectomy. I am only 27 so this is HUGE. It will effect my body in ways I was hoping to avoid until I was a grandma, not a mom to a 10 month old baby, a 6 and 8 year old. So with that being said, due to the PCOS aka PCOD I would rather deal with the side effects of the hysterectomy than with the monthly ovarian cysts which put me in bed for extended periods of time and make me feel like I am an incapable mother. Hot flashes and mood swings for some crazy reason sound more bearable to me. Of course there are other side effects to come with the hysterectomy but we will take them as they come. I also wanted to express my feelings and emotions that I have been going thru for such a long time. I am easily 100 lbs overweight...come on pull your chin back up. I don't like to post pictures of myself, at least the recent truthful ones, you know me FAT. Brian hates it when I talk about myself like this. I have to say he is the greatest husband I could have ever hoped for. He loves me unconditionally, whether I am 145 lbs (my ideal weight when we were married) or the 258 lbs that I am now. I debated for a long time on whether or not I would reveal my actual weight. This is the way I see it, or I try to kid myself that I see it this way. I am what I am, and it is not because I was lazy or chose to make my body a prison of health problems. In fact it was the other way around. So if you know my actual weight and criticize me for it or want to judge me than that is your burden to bear. I have enough burden's of my own to deal with than to what other people are thinking of me. That is why I am kidding myself. I totally care, and I shouldn't, about what people think of me. To continue to part 2...