Day 1: Introduce Myself

We will keep it to the basics without much story telling.

• I was born on February 15th, 1981 in Van Nuys California in the same hospital that my dad was born in.
• I am the oldest child of Ivan Wininger II and Katie Grosland Wininger. Both of my parents are from Southern California.
• I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Katrina ('82) is married to Jonathan Witt and they have 4 kids and live in Spanish Fork. Mindy ('83) is married to Seth Brady and they have 4 kids and live in Germany where Seth is stationed in the US Air Force. Lance ('85) is married to Swayze and they have 4 kids and live in Spanish Fork. Natasha ('88) is married to Nathan Skinner and they live in Springville. Colton ('90) is married to Lacey and they live in Springville.
• I was married to my best friend that I have known since I was 14. Brian and I were married on November 25th in 2000. We were later sealed on November 30th in 2002.
• I have 3 beautiful children, Sadie is 11, Hunter is 9, and McKadie is 3.
• We have 2 dogs. Gretchen is my 6 year old chocolate lab, and Tennyson is Brian's mut but is cute as a button.
• I love to be goofy and silly and try not to care what people think.
• I like to go camping, fishing, target shooting, boating, walking, and spending time with my family.
• I like to do a lot of crafts: sewing, crocheting, embroidery, beading, glass etching, painting, drawing, taking pictures (photography is a passion) and so much more.
• I would love to know how to speak a different language, play the piano, sing, jog w/o being in pain, be a published author and so much more.
• My faults are: I talk too much, I give to much information, and other things that I won't share.
• I love to read and wish I had more time to do it.
• I love the gospel and am so grateful to have been raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.
• I want to be a better mom and wife.
• We have lived in Orem for almost 3 years.
• I would love to go traveling, see the sites, but most of all I would love to visit the islands and travel around Europe.
• Brian and I have been representatives for ACN for almost 3 months now and we love it. I love helping people.
• I graduated from Mountain View High School in 1999. I attended the University of Utah for a short time. I have also attended Utah Valley University and Weber State University.
• I love the Medical field and would love to enhance my knowledge in the world of medicine.
• I love to learn especially about history, mythology and people.
• I love the victorian era.
• My favorite book is the Counte of Monte Cristo, the movie is great too.
• I am a techy geek, anything electronic and I have to get my hands on it.

I can't think of much else right now but in a nut shell this is me.

Day 2: My First Love

I had to think back on this one. So here is a picture of me when I was probably about 2 or 3 years old. Katrina is sitting next to me and she was around a year old. Then there is a boy whose name is Tony. He was one of our neighbors in Holland. This was my first love. I can't really tell you a whole lot about him but I know he was my first love:)

Blog Challenge

I took this from my friend Stefanie's blog. Thanks Stef. I am committing to do this and haven't even read through the list yet.
Day 1: Introduce Yourself
Day 2: Your First Love
Day 3: Your Parents
Day 4: What you ate today
Day 5: Your definition of love
Day 6: Your Day
Day 7: Your Best Friend
Day 8: A Moment
Day 9: Your beliefs
Day 10: What you wore today
Day 11: Your Siblings
Day 12: What's in your bag
Day 13: This Weeks
Day 14: What you wore today (there's 2 of these so I might write something else)
Day 15 : Your First kiss
Day 16: Your Dreams
Day 17: Your favorite birthday
Day 18: Your favorite memory
Day 19: Something you regret
Day 20: This Month
Day 21: Another moment
Day 22: Something that upsets you
Day 23: Something that makes you feel better
Day 24: Something that makes you cry
Day 25: A First
Day 26: Your Fears
Day 27: Your favorite place
Day 28: Something that you miss
Day 29: Your aspirations
Day 30: One last moment

Why do I get so excited?

Here is an update on the Raw diet. I was really enjoying the back of my eyelids when my cute baby girl came in and said mom the sun is awake, you have to wake up to. I'm thinking why does she have to be so cute and I know I have a lot to do so I better get up, again still fighting the whole depression thing but not getting out of bed seems to be the worst part. It's that or I am just too darn addicted to sleep. So I get up, prep for the shower and decide to step on the oh so resented scale. And Wala...I am down to 261!!!! Tada, down 15 lbs total now. Now to get under the 260. And please, I know the numbers are daunting but I have stopped hiding and am being completely and bluntly honest. So why do I get so excited? Well because for the longest time I haven't been able to lose any weight or stick to any life style change as far as eating goes. And the greatest thing is the whole family is doing it and they love it. So that is why I get so excited.

Changing

I started an entry about 2 weeks ago that was super oober negative. I didn't post it for the purpose of protecting myself from utter embarrassment.

Why do I mention a post I didn't post? Well I was reading through some blogs, the happy sappy Mormon Mommy's who make life seem like they are nothing but cherry blossoms and bubble gum. But then I was reading through my emails that I receive from a very popular public speaker/author named Darren Hardy.

Mr. Hardy speaks very frequently about making positive choices and creating your "destiny" as some would call it.

There was a series of emails he titled "Knocked on Your Tush" that basically said we all have problems, we all have heartache, loss, misery, etc. The point is that we all get knocked on our butts and we can all survive, its just that some of us do it better than others.

So I have been in a super bad place mentally for the last month and a half. It has effected my health, our home, my marriage, my kids and the list goes on.

I got to a point that I just couldn't do anything. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't do the dishes, do the laundry. I didn't want to talk to anyone on the phone, not even my family. It's been crazy bad. I have never been so down and low.

The last couple weeks I have been trying really hard to get up, shake it off and move forward. Some days are good, some better and some flat out suck. So the "ah-ha" moment that I found while reading Mr. Hardy's posts was as follows:

I was finally getting out of bed. Finally working around the house. Finally calling on bills that are behind, etc. Then I woke up the morning my dad was going in for shoulder surgery and my shoulder, which I have had many problems with, and had been on a leave of absence for torture, decided to put me in major pain mode. We found it very funny considering dad's surgery.

The major stinky part of this whole thing is that it hasn't stopped hurting.

Problems with the shoulder started back in my school days and don't usually cause any chaos. Working as a housekeeper at the hospital made it worse and I was diagnosed with tendinitis as well as the already existant bursitis. And the herniated disc, and no this isn't a whine fest, just a history to back up my "ah-ha" moment.

So trying to be in a much better move I was "dancing" in my shower and twisted my back really bad, to the point where it is a chronic pain now as well.

So the "ah-ha" moment. I have been super bad freaking out because Brian and I have both been out of work. We are both looking, and trying to line some things up, but in the mean time we have had to apply for state aid. I don't like the idea of being a welfare case, but times are desperate. The last time we spoke to our case worker we were told that Brian and I were not going to be covered medically, which was fine as long as the kids were covered. That was until my shoulder and back flared up.

So all weekend I have been bummed out again, close to crawling back in that bed and never leaving. Then I read this article from Mr. Hardy where he speaks about several different people who have faced insurmountable odds and overcome them. So I put on my big girl panties and figured we would work it out one way or another. Not 10 minutes later, our case worker calls and says that Brian and I will have medical for 2 months.

About 4 years ago the same thing happened. I had been having the most ridiculous time trying to get pregnant and wasn't able to. It was when I finally threw my hands in the air and surrendered that I became pregnant with my cute little Mick.

So long story short, everything happens for a reason, we just don't always know what it is. You can find the information that Mr. Hardy has written at http://darrenhardy.success.com/2011/02/knocked-part-1/

A couple of quotes that I found enlightening:

Quoting Mr. Darren Hardy:

It’s not whether you get knocked down (everyone will get knocked down), it’s how fast you get up. We all experience failure, setbacks, disappointments and obstacles. And yes it hurts, and that is okay. We are human. Rejection, failure and letdowns hurt humans. It’s part of the deal.

Mr. Hardy quotes Roger Crawford saying, "Focus on what you CAN do instead of what you CAN’T do."

So here is to getting knocked on our butts/tushes and getting back up.

F A T

The ill fated word that should be a four letter word.

I did this a while back and it seems to give me the accountability that I need to stay on track.

I am obese, not just obese but morbidly obese.

I sit and watch Biggest Loser and cringe when a woman with the same figure and weight as myself appears.

So what to do about it?

Well for the last 8 years or so I have tried every diet you could think of, obviously nothing that worked long term. Nothing that I could muster to do as a life style change. I don't like to DIET, but try and change the things that have made me this way.

There are many factors that have attributed to my figure, some my fault some not, so rather than list the excuses or reasons for why I look this way I am just going to list the facts of where I was a week ago, where I am now, and what I am doing to change this.

About a month ago I started working from home and have been going from appointment to appointment and just didn't have time to eat.

My appetite grew smaller as did my portion sizes when I did eat. Well this was great because I lost 10 lbs. But then I went out of town for this company, which was great, but I wasn't eating like I should have been, not like I was before, but wasn't running ragged for the 5 days I was out of town. So a few things that factored here:

1) You shouldn't lose weight because you don't have time to eat.

2) If you eat less your body will lose weight because it isn't consuming as many calories, however, give yourself a 5 day stint where you still aren't eating much, but are eating horrible things and any weight lost will return

3) If you don't change what you have been doing that has kept you in the place you are and have been, you won't be anywhere different unless you change what you are doing

Even when I lost the 10 lbs I was at 268 lbs. (hold your comments please)

After the out of town excursion, I was back to 272

I teeter totter back in this area, never to get under 268 (again please hold your comments)

So what I have done to change:

First of all credit must go to my sister Mindy who discovered www.GreenSmoothieGirl.com

Second of all credit to my mom, who has also struggled with her weight, for pushing me to look at the website, read up, watch the videos and so on.

Everyone always has a changing point. You would think that after flying out of town and being so incredibly uncomfortable for a 6 hour flight one way would be enough. (Flying Fat to come in a post later) Alas it wasn't.

What made me decide that this was it and that I had enough was my family.

Saturday night I was up all night with a sick 3 year old, which has been happening a lot for the last month or so. She has been really congested, coughing, stuffy nose etc. These Symptoms = NO SLEEP FOR MOMMY (we've all been there, done that)

So Sunday morning rolls around a little too early for me at this point. We missed a lot of church last year due to a lot of reasons and the goal this year is to not miss any church...not really happening yet, which really irks me.

I am a very religious person and know that much comes from faith and following the teachings of the gospel. ONE important one is going to church every week!!!

So my oldest left her only dress at grandma's house, she is growing like a weed and I can't keep her in anything. Our 2nd child who is usually the hardest to get ready for church, is ready and willing, which is great. Next step wake daddy up who is tired because of the extra movement in bed, the 3 year old, the TV on (keeping said 3 year old from crying all night), etc. I try to lovingly wake daddy up so he can take the son to church. After the patient loving encouragement doesn't work, a very tired and impatient mom resorts to using guilt (SIDE NOTE: said husband does not do guilt, in fact using guilt has the opposite effect). So it is now 10 minutes until church starts, I am madder than a fallen hornets nest, and am so mad that I can't sleep.

Anger isn't a great thing to try to keep a loving spirit in your home. I decide in the end to use my anger in a positive manner.

I go to my desk and make a list of changes that are going to be made in this family starting ASAP. One of which was the way we eat and the lack of exercise in this household because I am SICK AND TIRED or everyone BEING SICK AND TOO TIRED!

So we cleaned out the pantry, fridge and cupboards, leaving no sugar or processed foods.

Next we made a family pact, everyone raised there hand one at a time, said their full name and vowed to do their best for their Heavenly Father, themselves and their family, no matter what it took.

Then we started the Green Smoothie Girl Diet.

The kids have taken some time doing this but they are enjoying the change...for the most part.

I am not going to go into details on this diet other than it is RAW. If you would like to see the details please visit the website previously mentioned.

So yesterday, Wednesday, I finally got a full nights sleep, for the most part, and decided to get up at 8am, which is unheard of for me. I weighed myself and was so excited that I decided to work out, which is also usually unheard of for me. I am now down to 267, which is a first in a very long time. I did 30 minutes of Zumba, which my 3 children joined in on before the older 2 had to leave for school.

That is a 5 pound weight loss in 3 days and it was done in a very healthy matter. Let the countdown begin.

I know this post was long, sorry! Watch for further posts to come, even today maybe:)

This is a new time

Life has its ups and its downs and it never seems to surprise me. Growth, patience, understanding, forgiveness are a few things that I often learn through these trying times. My biggest dilemma is usually financial, go figure right? I'm not going to whine and complain about the economy or the lack thereof, but I really want to try and just write what goes through my daily life. I have mentioned it before and I will mention it again, this blog is where I get to be blunt, give as much information as I am comfortable with, and just express who I am, what I am feeling and so on.

So it's been a while and I hope you come back more frequently! So here is 2011 and a new me!