So these were my final 2 proto types for my business cards. I went with the top one for my final choice. I am excited. I desgined these myself...hopefully that is a good thing. And the picture in the back of the waterfall is from one of my pictures. So keep your eyes open for more pictures on my business blog...and if you know of anyone who is looking for a photographer go ahead and send them my way. www.FlashbackPV.blogspot.com

Another Venture

I have been told that I am a very ambitious person. When there is something that I want to do then I hit it head on. So Katrina, my sister, has joined up with me and we are going to be selling hair bows, pins, and a variety of other things. Please spread the word and feel free to let us know what you think and if there is something in particular you would like to see.
http://littleprettyhair.blogspot.com/

Photography Special

Fall & Holiday Discount
I'm hitting the floor running and very excited to be taking pictures once again. At this time I am offering a special. Mention that you found me via the blog and I will take a 10% discount on your entire purchase and throw in a free 8X10 of your choice. Refer me to a friend and you will get the same deal, just make sure to have them let me know it was you! And if they mention the blog, they get the same deal. This is one of the greatest times of year to be taking an updated family picture. With the fall colors and a need for Christmas cards creeping up on us, don't wait another minute. Call me and schedule an appointment now. I am extremely inexpensive and you will have a blast with me. Taking pictures should be fun and a memory you create with your family. Call 801-471-3037 or email me at tashina_gillman@msn.com ...leave a message if I don't get to your call in time and I will get back to you ASAP...

I am still here...

I just wanted to post a note that I am still around and haven't forgotten about "My Place." This blog was made for me to vent and voice opinion. If there was an opinion to place right now it would be about the politics, and quite frankly I stay far and clear from it. I know who I am voting for and what my values are and that is that. But life is great right now. Yeah we live from check to check, but who doesn't? So I really don't have anything to rant and rave about or sit up on my soap box. I have been posting away on my family blog because we have been doing a lot of family things. I feel great. I am eating good, exercising, and loosing inches. I have lost 15 inches in the last month. I am very excited. So life is busy, life is great, I feel wonderful. I love you all and am grateful for my readers. Have a safe Halloween this week and be safe. Make sure to keep an eye on your little ones and check their candy before you give it to them. There is also a warning out there about the chocolate candy from china. For details go to www.btshgillman.blogspot.com or you can check snopes but it has a chemical in it, the same one that was in the formula and killing babies, so don't eat it. Let your friends and family know. Talk to you soon...

It's been a while...ooops

Well I have been keeping up on the family blog but have neglected this one...again. And I don't have nearly as much time as I used to in making regular posts. So here are some random thoughts:
I have lost 12 lbs. since surgery and 9 inches. Yeah me go me!!!
It is stinkin' cold here. Where did autumn go?
I love my husband...I really really really love him, and will miss him while he is away working.
I may get on the computer more when he is gone, I don't sleep well without him next to my side.
I spent 3 hours at the laundry mat yesterday, my dryer is broken, hopefully temporarily. I need to put a lot of laundry away.
My baby is turning into a toddler. Bitter sweet as she is my last but at the same time thanks heavens, she is so active and full of her very opinionated attitude. I love her to pieces!
I am so excited to keep decorating for all the holidays that are upon us. Yeah!!!
McKadie is walking, not at full speed or all the time, but each day there is more and more.
I love movies...I think this came from working at the theatre.
I miss country dancing. I just spent Wednesday night teaching a large amount of youth to line dance: electric slide, boot scootin' boogie, and the tush push(very clean version).
I love taking walks at night with my sweetie. It has totally added to our relationship.
I found out Hunter has a hard time when I leave him at home or anywhere else (he was bawling one night when we got back from walking, now I have to leave the phone with him when we leave for just in case).
We are going to start going to rendezvous again with my family next year. I have to start sewing a bunch of pioneer outfits. I also should do some bead work...when is there time to do all of this?
I have been scrubbing my house on my hands and knees and am so happy to see the fruits of my labors.
I love my Savior!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am starting to realize what my body is capable of and that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to. I am seriously thinking of participating in a tri-athalon next summer, and some half marathons and marathons before that. Thank you Debbie!!!
I love my family, one and all.
My kids make me smile and they don't even realize it half of the time.
The weather didn't co-operate with my schedule today. I was supposed to take a families pictures up the canyon, no way in a snow/rain storm.
Why can't fall last until after Halloween, like in Hocus Pocus the movie, all the pretty leaves on the ground, and NO SNOW!!!
I love to go to the temple. What a beautiful place. Some good friends of ours had their adopted son sealed to them today. Love you Dustin and Taska!!!
My main computer is broken, I need to take it to the Geek squad according to one of my very computer savvy uncles. And where do I get the money for that? Thankfully I have my laptop.
I love my camera, but would love a newer one...beggars can't be choosers...
The radiator in my car just decided to have a fit on me and now I don't know if Brian will be able to get it fixed before he leaves on Monday morning. Why is everything breaking?
Sadie and Hunter are having a fun day with their cousins at my parents house. Thank heavens for Grandparents.
I am learning to love my body...sorta...working on it.
I need to wipe down the walls in my bathroom, no fart fan, and mildew is growing GROSS!
I need to sweep the floor in the kitchen...again...thanks McKadie.
I could be getting all of these things done if I wasn't playing on my computer messing around with the blogs now couldn't I? So on that note. I am going to go and turn up some fun energizing music and dance/clean my house with McKadie.

Yeah Me Go Me Wahoo Me

Warning this is a double post ie: I made the same post on my other blog too:)

So this is me beaming right now. Many of you know that I have struggled with health issues and was in surgery 7 weeks ago. Some of you know that since the surgery I have felt the best I have in years. It is very exciting to me. So last Thursday was my 6 week check up and I received the green light to resume life as normal ie: cleaning, picking up my baby, etc... So before I left for the dr's apt I took my weight, I don't do it very much, it depresses me. So then, as of today, some family members and myself are doing a friendly biggest loser competition to help motivate each other. So I did the dreaded measure yourself and then I stepped on the scale. I had to re-weigh twice because I thought the scale was joking:) HAHA you know computers do have a mind of their own. But this is the big news...I have lost 15 lbs. in 1 week. I can't even believe it. Part of my weight problem the last 6 years has been my insulin resistance due to the PCOD that I have or had... So we don't know and won't know for a while yet if my body is still having insulin problems. But until then I am super happy for the 15 lb. loss. I am beyond excited, I can't contain myself, so do you see me beaming right now? Try...

Random Thoughts...

I am sitting in Brian's recliner and yawning. I love the teething stage...PSYCHE!!! I was up with McKadie about every hour and a half last night...I don't do very well on lack of sleep so forgive my random babblings right now. There were a few things I wanted to touch on that happened this weekend. First of all, Brian and I had a semi date night aka a PPV movie being watched lounging in bed. We haven't had a real date since the Rodeo in June...tear tear. Anyways, we watched "P.S. I love You". It has Hillary Swank and some other actors, one of which is a hottie, and overall we really liked it. It's rated PG-13 and was very mellow as far as language is concerned. There was a bum shot of a man, I didn't really see it, but from what Brian said it was no worse then Kevin Costner and his bootie in "Dancing with Wolves". It was a great story line and we thought it would be a mushy love story which it was to an extent but it was also very comical. We laughed hard a few times. And I cried a lot during it. But I do that a lot these days so I don't know if you will need a Kleenex box or not.
My first soap box conversation right now. I am a movie lover. I love all sorts of movies, my favorites being sci-fi and comical romances. I worked at a movie theatre for about 2 years and it was by far one of my favorite jobs. I will not watch R's, I have watched a few but Brian and I haven't watched one in over 7 years, I have to pat myself on the back for that because there have been a lot that we would have loved to see. I hope none of you take that as a slam on choosing to watch R's, just for Brian and I it is important that we don't. So anyways, Brian and I watched another PG-13 movie about 2 weeks ago. I think it was "Fools Gold" with a very handsome man and Goldie Hawn's daughter(I may be a huge movie buff and can pretty much pinpoint movies that actors/actresses have been in, but I really bite at remembering names) oh wait his name is Matthew McCaunahay(SP??)...anyways...It looked super funny and innocent. We have seen other movies with these two in them and they haven't had anything that made me cringe. But I have a big big problem with certain body parts being shown. I am not a huge fan of men's bums being in movies, but I am super sensitive to women's parts being shown. I have a huge problem with the pornography issues that we are faced with in this world and I hate how so many people just pass it off as ok and normal. It should not be normal. So we are watching and laughing and all of a sudden you get this total full on frontal boob shot of this girl. I was so irritated. It is rated PG-13...so my point is the ratings are becoming very loose on their ratings and it irritates me. End that soap box.
Next soap box, a little more sympathetic to more people than the previous soap box. There was a show on this weekend that was on all 3 major networks that was called "Stand Up 2 Cancer". If any of you are the same as I am you have at least a handful of people whom you know or are related to that have suffered the ultimate cost to this disease or you know a survivor that has been able to win the fight with this disease. In honor of those whom I have been blessed to know, I have lost my grandpa, Brian's grandma, a dear friend from high school, one of my best's friends dads and so many more. In honor of those whom are still living and fighting this disease or can say they have survived it: my grandma, my next door neighbor, a dear family friend Lori, and so many more. I also cried a lot during this program. But I did want to say that I really enjoyed it and was really proud to be a friend and/or family member that have to deal with this awful disease. I pray that they will find a cure for this horrible thing known as cancer, but until then, we hope....End this soap box.
Next...and yet another program that was on this weekend was a tribute to the armed forces that are fighting to protect our freedoms. I didn't watch a lot of TV this weekend, but these programs were very inspiring, for the most part. So anyways, I was really excited to watch this program. I am a huge supporter of the Armed Forces and to the men and women serving to save our great nation. I am also grateful to their husbands/wives, children, parents, etc...that stay behind and watch and wait as their loved ones are far away. I am a baby when Brian has to go out of town for a week for work, I don't think I could let him go for longer. I am sitting there watching and I have high expectations for what is about to be shown. It started out with Janet Jackson, ok so she is a pop icon, a Jackson so that was ok, I wasn't a huge fan of the song she sang, it was blah. And then dancing was alright, not my favorite. Then you have the infamous Pamela Anderson come out and every time they do a close up shot of her they have this dialog box right over the bottom of her to where you can't see any bust only her face, and it's only when you see her up close, my guess is she was revealing too much of her bust and it was inappropriate, go figure...not a huge Pamela fan, I think she is demoralizing for women. Then we get a song for Toby Keith, I am excited for this because I know he is a huge supporter of the troops and has always been. I even got a little teary even though I have heard his song a million times. The comedian they had was funny and I appreciated the gratitude he expressed to the military men and women. I totally skipped over the whole Snoop Dog part, don't like him at all. A quick dialog by Jordin Sparks, was quick and to the point. They had a couple of good stories from some soldiers and their families that was interesting. A performance by another comedian which was blah and then a performance by Jessica Simpson. If you are a fan of Jessica Simpson I am sorry I mean you no offense, but I felt like her dancing was totally too perverse and I think she is too dramatic and over the top when she sings. Also, she was on Grand Ole Opry Live the other night and I thought she was gonna bust out of her top or fall out which ever came first. So anyways I could go on and on but I was really overall disappointed. They had some pro cheerleaders and the 3 top Playboy bunnies. My thoughts are, ok, I get it that the ways of the world are gross and sick and giving some booty or bust whichever, is what men want...but for crying out loud can we do it with some class, without showing everything a woman may have and so on. EEEEWWWWWW GROSS and PA-LEASE. I am the daughter of a retired Air Force man, my great grandfather served in WWII in the navy and was in Pearl Harbor when it was struck. My grandfather served in the Army and I love the fact that I am an American, but how demoralizing. I was so bummed out by the overall point of the show, even the country music wasn't what it could have been. And I am a big fan of country music. Alright so I will get off that one but give me a break. When I was little that was a type of program that my mom would get us all together to sit down and watch and to teach us to be grateful for all that we have. There is no way I would have let my kids watch that program last night. Alright I am really done now.
So the other thing is that those living in Utah and Wasatch County had regional conference yesterday for the LDS church. It was awesome. I totally loved the talks and was so grateful to hear them. My great great grandpa is Lincoln Packer, cousin to Boyd K. Packer, so the story he had told about the little Danish Pioneer was a very personal story for me. I don't know a lot of stories about my ancestors but how cool was that. And Elder Uchdorf is such a stud. And the talk from President Monson's daughter was awesome. She told this story about how she made real homemade rolls for some YW and they were in shock that they could be so delicious. She told them that she did it on purpose because she wanted them to know what was real versus the store bought or something to that effect. It was a good analogy on life and I feel her point to the talk was to make sure that are lives are being lived Real and not fake or just on the surface. Be genuine. Loved it. So anyways, now that I have written another novel I will go:)

Ta Dah...

My baby turned 1 yesterday. It was a fun day and she got all smiley everytime someone sang happy birthday to her. I can't believe how fast this last year has gone by. It's amazing. And some more good news, I have lost 9 pounds now since the surgery. So it made me brave enough to post a body picture of me, of course with my birthday girl.

Resolutions and Goals

Why wait for the New Year, in 4 months, when I know there are things to change now. So I have some ok not some but a lot of things I am constantly thinking about changing or doing better, and a handful of things I am currently working on doing better. So our satelite tv has been off for a few months. When money is tight, it's not a priority. Also, I noticed Sadie and Hunter saying and doing things that they had learned on TV and even though a lot of it was cute and exciting, they did learn some things. But what about the things they did or said that were not good because they learned them on tv? I have decided that I am not willing to let those bad influences into their lives even if they are learning things. But I do know that the tv is not the only place for them to learn. Books, life experience, etc... So even when money is not tight, we will pretty much be cutting out a good portion of any tv.
I have many more things I want to fix and work on but I will spare you all at this very moment but encourage you to re-evaluate things in your life, good or bad. We need to make sure that we are putting our lives in order and doing those things that are the most important. Blah...I am getting on my soap box and I have no room to preach. Have a great holiday weekend and be safe!

This week...

Well I hope this week is going well for any of you that happen to be reading this. I have been up and going more which feels good but I also noticed I am dead beat tired, and yet, I am not sleeping well. Could they be related? LOL, so part of this whole menopause thing can be insomnia. For anyone who knows me, I love to sleep. One of my favorite pass times. Right now, I think part of it is that I am not doing a whole lot physically so my body isn't tired, just my mind. So hopefully when I get the green light in 2 weeks to start being normal, my body will sleep when I go to bed at night. Anyways, the kids are doing great in school. Sadie has been starting to play the violin and Hunter is loving that he is in school all day. I have to tell you it makes my commuting a lot less hectic as well. McKadie is growing fast as ever. This week she has been eating a lot more "big kid" foods. We took her off formula a week early, I am sorry but with her having to be on Soy Formula and the rising prices of everything, she was making us broke broke broke...lol. So she loves whole milk and really likes to eat. I was told a certain sister of mine, no names to be mentioned **wink wink**(pudors) was allowing her to eat leaves yesterday and thought it was hysterical. Brian is working really hard up at the Real Soccer Stadium. He has been there since January and is excited to see it coming to an end. Their goal date to have it all finished is September 19th. They announced on the radio yesterday that they will be hosting college football games as well as the obvious soccer games. I am healing well, just fighting the tiredness, and that is about it.
Oh yeah, and the exciting news as of yesterday, although we don't have too many for sures yet, but it would appear that my whole family is going to be characters from the Twilight Series for Halloween. I know and am sure there will be many many more out there, but how many will have the whole crew.

Warning Warning Warning Spoiler for Book 4 approaching

So I am hoping that this is what we will have:
Bella: Katrina (This was an argument but because she called it first she got it) and she isn't sure if she wants to be premortal or mortal Bella
Edward: Katrina's husband Jon
Rosalie: Mindy (She wanted to be Bella)
Emmet: Min's husband Seth
Alice: We are trying to talk Natasha into it
Jasper: Natasha's boyfriend Nathan???
Esme: My mom
Carlisle: I think Colton looks the part for this one
Charlie: My dad
Jacob: We are going to ask my brother Lance, we aren't sure if he will do it though
Sam: Brian
Emily: Me:) I was thinking of wearing a sweater that says "La Push's Top Dog Lover" and of course we would have to do the scar down my face but isn't it Halloween???

"Nessie": We think that my niece Navi would work perfectly for this and since her mother is going to be Rosalie it would work out great considering the whole story plot

So we would only be missing Renee but I don't think she plays an big enough roll to be worried about, and yeah none of us really look like our characters but I think Natasha would be the closest thing to an Alice as long as we color her hair.

Well with all that being said. Have a great rest of the week and a safe holiday weekend. And Happy Birthday to Lance on the 30th and to my McKadie on the 2nd, just in case I am not on here before then.

99 Balloons

I tried to add this link to my other inspirational lists but I failed and don't have much time right now to figure it out. So here you go http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/570/99-Balloons_ I had some tears but I really liked this and it reminded me to remember the important things! Have a great day!!!

Hmmm....

Hmmmmm...

That is what I am thinking right now when I am trying to decide what I want to talk about or babble about right now. There are so many meaningful things and then again so many meaningless things that I could go on about. So hmmmm...

Right now I am sitting in my home, Brian is taking his Sunday nap, Sadie and Hunter are downstairs coloring, and McKadie is sleeping. Hunter just came upstairs to ask if he could use the pencil sharpener, I tell him yes and then he leans in and kisses my forehead. So maybe that is what I will write about first. Being a mom in Zion.

What does it mean to be a mom in Zion? Yikes, have I lived up to those expectations in the last 8 years? Will He be pleased with what I have done? My heart says that I have done the best with what I was allowed, but it also tells me that I have slacked in many areas.
I don't know about any of you reading this but I am probably not alone when I say, there are so many other women doing it better than me.
I read these blogs and see all the wonderful things these Women in Zion are doing with their kids and my heart is sad. Are my kids ok? Do they know that I love them more than anything? What can I do to be better? This is where I am hopeful. This hysterectomy has left me feeling better than I have been in years. Once I am over the restrictions of an abdominal surgery, I feel a huge piece of hope that I will be able to finally start being that mom and wife that I hope to be.
Do we have FHE? I try to make sure we do have it weekly but we aren't perfect, there have been weeks that have gone by without it but we do try. Do we have daily family scriptures? This one is hard because there have been periods of time where we have it daily for months, and then there are months when we don't have it. Do we have daily family prayer? We try. It is more frequent than scriptures and I am a huge believer in the power of prayer, so I have it in the foremost of my mind to make sure we have it, but again we are far from perfect. Do I yell at my kids? Sadly yes, more than I would like to admit. Do I tell them that I love them? Daily if not hourly. Do they know that their Heavenly Father loves them? I hope so, we talk about it every morning before school. Do they know they are children of God? I am grateful to say yes.
There is so much more room for improvement...and I will try. It's never too late.
So then I think about these wonderful women in Zion who do the above and beyond with their kids. My sister Katrina is one of them. She makes time and opens opportunities for her kids to do wonderful things. For example, there is a couple in Mesa, AZ that was recently in a plane crash http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/. Katrina was telling me about it yesterday and was talking about all of the donations and things people are doing for this couple and their 4 children. She said she was going to get some things together to help her kids make cards for this couple and send it to them as a service project. What a great example she is to me and to her children. A shining example of a Daughter in Zion as well as a wonderful mother.
Another wonderful woman in Zion is my mom. Geesh, I get choked up thinking about all she has endured and has yet to endure. Life has not always thrown her the easy slice of pie. Just a quick run down, I was born before mom and dad's 1st annivesary and just before my 1st birthday we moved to Holland. Mom has expressed how difficult it was for her to be away from her family and friends and then to be with all of these foreign speaking people and not knowing how to communicate with them and so on. We were there for 4 almost 5 years. Then just being the wife of a military man is difficult. I have mentioned it before but just before I turned 15 my dad went to prison. I have a few siblings that have had some really hard bumps in the road of life and even some massive potholes, and my mom has been there for each of them thru and thru. Some examples of that, I have a sister who got pregnant at the age of 16, mom was right there to help her with it. Then the weddings that she dealt with on her own, without dad. I have a brother who had some problems with the law in his mid teenage years and she was with him through it all, going to court, visiting him in jail regularly. Not to mention that she made sure that we were able to visit dad regularly. Recently she has been there for a sister whose husband was nearly killed on November 1st of 2006, and then my dad suffered a stroke 10 days later. 2 months prior to that we found out that one of my sisters was fighting a drug addiction to Heroin. Life has dealt her quite the hand and yet her faith never faulters. She is valiant to the Lord and is always there to make sure that the gospel principles are being followed and lived. What a woman in ZION. I can only hope to be half that woman she is.
So with this entry in hand and having done a self evaluation of who I am and who I want to be, I can only hope that I am blessed with the patience and knowledge to better myself as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a Woman in Zion.
Please know that we are all loved by our Father in Heaven. We are all choice Daughters and Sons of a Heavenly Father who will always be there for us, even when we don't feel we are worthy of his presence. Don't let go, hold on to Him, pray to Him, tell Him of your struggles, your joys, your pains. He knows your name, He knows your pain. On this blogs playlist please listen to 2 songs on it. The first one is Every Breath by Jenny Phillips and then the other one is Maker's Touch by Jenny Phillips. Listen to the lyrics and know without a doubt that you are a Daughter in Zion or Son:)

So sorry...

I have neglected you all. So sorry... I have given a couple of updates on my family blog at http://www.btshgillman.blogspot.com/ if you're really curious to know what has been happening. I have just had a lot going on and a lot I wanted to say and was afraid that if I got on here I wouldn't feel good enough to finish.

First of all the surgery went wonderfully. Out of the 4 surgeries that I have had, this one has been the biggest deal and also the best recovery. I haven't had any problems moving around, even that first day wasn't so bad, maybe because I knew what to expect. I haven't had any infections (knocking on wood) or anything serious like that. The down fall is due to the fact that I have pretty much been off and on pain pills the last 6 years due to the dumb and not never again CYSTS, I have a higher tolerance to the pain meds. They had to give me more than the norm just to get the pain under control for the first couple of days in the hospital. But I am happy to say that by day 10 post-op I was pain med free!!!

I had surgery on Wednesday and was released late Saturday morning. I have been having major hot flashes, anxiety attacks (which if you have never had they totally suck), and not being able to sleep worth nothing. So a few days ago we switched up the hormones and he wrote me a script for the sleeping meds. The last few nights have been heaven!!!

All I have to say is that when or if you ever have to deal with menopause, either as the woman or the lovely man with that woman, GOOD LUCK!!! I am blessed enough that I don't have to suffer through it for years at a time like my gracefully aging female family members have been doing...no names given. As far as I know mine is temporary...or so Brian hopes:) But the new HRT seems to be doing wonders and now that I am sleeping life is good.

I had my 2 week post-op appointment yesterday and the doctor couldn't agree more, everything looks wonderful. He expressed to me that he was very concerned about doing the surgery because I was so young. It was a very hard decision for Brian and I to make but I am glad we did it. The doctor told me that my labs came back and said that I had something called adenomyosis, which is in the same family as endometriosis. He said there is no cure for it except for a hysterectomy. With that being said he expressed that although he was very nervous about doing the surgery that he believed that we did make the right choice in the end.

How awesome is that?!? I feel better than I have felt in years, and that's including the still healing external and internal incisions. I took Sadie and Hunter to get some last minute school supplies yesterday and I also was able to go to their Back To School Night and unfortunately I pushed it too far. By the time I drove Bri to school near the airport in SLC, drove to my parent's house, to Wal-mart, to my parent's, to my doctors apt., to my parent's house and then out to pick up Brian I was pretty much done for the day. Unfortunately we had more to do. Brian was beat from all of the schooling and side jobs he has been doing and was in no mood to cook, I was too tired to cook so we headed to good ole Applebee's. We were done just in time to head to the school and by the time we got home I was thrashed. My downfall is that I love to talk and visit with everyone.

The kids weren't the only ones excited to see old friends. I was greatful to see a bunch of parents and especially Sadie and Hunter's teachers from last year. So what is going on now with our lives?

I have 4 more weeks of recovery before I am allowed to do any lifting or cleaning still. Brian passed this week of school and with one more week to go in October he will be preparing to take his Journeyman's test for an electrician. The downfall is that he still has 3 or 4 more weeks after that before he is completely done. Getting his License as an electrician has been a long time coming, it will be 5 years of schooling by the time all is said and done. I am so proud of him. It has not been easy, especially with all of my illness and a new baby at home.

Sadie is entering the 3rd grade. Wow, talk about making you feel old, she has done well. She will be starting the violin and is so excited. We are excited for her. She has been a super helper for me and Brian since the surgery. She is great at helping with dishes and laundry and whatever else needs tending to. She is also very head strong so we are bracing ourselves for the coming years as a teenager, may Heaven help us all:)

Hunter is entering the 1st grade. He is so excited to be going all day and to be able to have 3 recesses and lunch at school. He is a great little/big brother to the girls and tries to keep his control considering all of the estrogen in the house. Between Hunter and Brian I am glad they are making it through this. I have been an emotional roller coaster since the surgery and poor Brian doesn't know what to do with me. Hunter will be turning 7 in October and is thrilled. We were watching the Olympics the other night and he expressed that he would like to try fencing. I thought how awesome that is because we didn't think with his metabolic myopathy he would ever be able to do any sports. What a kid!!!

My little McKadie turns a year old on September 2nd and my heart is breaking. She is our last baby and she has grown so fast. Her favorite word is Hi. And the funny thing is that she knows it is a greeting and uses it as such. It's so adorable.

So our future is looking much brighter and I am excited to face it with a healthy body. Oh yeah and I have lost 6 lbs. now. I am hoping to loose a lot more. Well I'm off until next time!!!

The last tribute before I go under...

My tribute today is for my sweetheart. Brian and I meet when I was 14. My family had just moved into his families ward. We became quick friends. I had the biggest crush on him and later found out that he had one on me as well. The downfall was that he was 18, that is not legal in case some of you didn't know. Brian owned a lawn care company for about 7 years as a teenager. I was in need of money and babysitting wasn't cutting it anymore so I started working with him. We would mow up to 50 lawns a week and it was usually just me, Brian and his baby sister Melissa aka Missy. In this picture is Garth (Brian's dad), Grandpa Hanks(his maternal grandpa), Hunter, Brian and Ricky(married to Sharree, Brian's sister)

Just before I turned 16 I quit working for Brian. At this point he was dating girls from college and would frequently bring them to work with us. I really liked him and it was hard for me to be around him and these girls. So he did the college thing and I did the high school thing and we stayed in touch here and there. My Senior year Brian came to our house to show us the engagement ring he had purchased for this girl Angie. We had never heard of her and didn't know a lot about her. What my mom drilled out of Brian was that he was pretty much marrying someone that didn't fit any of the standards he was raised with. (He was be rebellious and was rebounding off of a 2 year relationship and jumped straight into marriage.)

Those of you who know Brian know that he is very head strong and stubborn. There wasn't a sole on this planet that could tell him not to go through with it. So that was that. He married Angie in the Spring of 1999. I attended the reception and at that point I had come to the reality that Brian was officially off of the market. So I graduated from high school about a month later and went on to College up at the U of U.

This is us at the circus at UVSC this last spring. We had a blast. McKadie loved it.

So about a week before I got really sick and had to leave school I got a phone call from my mom saying that Brian and Angie had separated. I felt bad for Brian. We were still good friends and I didn't want him to have to go through this. Well on top of that Angie was 3 months pregnant with Sadie. So then I get sick and end up moving home to my mom's in PG, about a mile from Brian's parents home. Brian moved home when they separated. Well I was out of it for a while, really out of it. Brian shows up to check on me and gets mad at me(more like he harassed me) for not letting him know I was home and sick.

Brian loves to go 4-wheeling and motorcycle riding. He has done it his whole life. This is a picture of him and Sadie after a muddy ride. It is by far one of my favorites of him.

So we start talking and visiting and old feelings were rekindled. That is the short version. It took a year for the divorce to go through. We found out on Saturday that it went through on Friday. So Saturday night I treat us to our first official date at Golden Corral, Brian was broke due to lawyers bills and such. Sunday night we headed out to my grandma's house in Mapleton for a birthday party and Brian proposed. 4 Weeks later we were married on November 25th, 2000 in Pleasant Grove. We were sealed almost 2 years to the date later on November 30th, 2002 in the SLC temple.

This is a picture of Brian sitting at temple square. This face of his is commonly mistaken as him being grumpy, but what people don't always understand is that he is a very deep person. Right here he was thinking about some personal things and I snapped a cute pic of him.

Brian is my best friend. He has been there through almost all of my hard times. He was there when my uncle died. He was there for me when my dad went to prison. He was there through it all. People's chins drop when they find out we were married only after 4 weeks of being engaged. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Brian loves me no matter what. He reassures me that it doesn't matter if I am heavy or skinny that he will always love me no matter my size. He said that he didn't marry me for my drop dead gorgeous self, he married me for who I am inside. The nerdy dork as we like to tell our kids:) This picture was taken of us in December in AZ.

When I was pregnant with Hunter we won custody of Sadie. We have full physical and joint legal. Angie has told us that in her heart she just can't give her rights up and for some reason can't agree to let her have us sealed to us. In the end we have faith that Heavenly Father will work out all of those details in the end. Sadie knows we love her and that I am so grateful to have her as my daughter.

I have a picture like this with Brian and all of our kids. The one of him and Sadie was when he meet her for the first time when she was a week old. Angie didn't think he would care to know that she was born, HELLO he was fighting for custody from the get go. Anyways, this is a picture of Brian with McKadie in September. He truly loves each one of his babies.

Brian is my "Favorite" person in the universe. I am having a hard time with this tribute because I am afraid that I won't be able to describe in words what he means to me. He has a billion wonderful qualities about him and getting to them all seems impossible. It's like having a jar full of sand and being told to describe each grain individually.

Obviously this is Brian giving his biggest silliest cheeser smile. McKadie was only a couple of months old if that. He is such a proud daddy.

Brian is the first guy I ever held hands with, yes while we were mowing:) We tried to hide it so that no one would know but later we find out that it wasn't the case. Brian is the most tender hearted guy I know. He is so selfless and giving and is the hardest working man I have ever meet. He was raised by great parents and they taught him well. I doesn't do jobs half way and sloppy, he does them right and he does them well. That is pretty much how everything in his life is. He is a super daddy.

Brian is great at taking the time, the little moments with the kids. In this picture he is making a snowman with Hunter. Brian is always taking the time to do things with them. Last week he was out working on his truck and Hunter comes in and tells me that dad was playing football with him. It's things like taking the time from doing things Brian wants to get done and just spending a few minutes with them to make them know that he loves them and that they mean everything to him. One time when we lived in AZ I found Sadie in a closet with Brian. She was holding his drill and was trying to drill screws into some shelving that he was putting up. It was so cute, she couldn't have been more than 2 1/2 years old.
When we got Gretchen, our lab, he built her a mansion of a dog house, and it took him days to finish. But I have a bunch of pictures of the kids helping him on it with daddy's hammer and screw drivers and everything. They will always remember those times with him and I am so grateful they have those memories.
This was the Sunday that we blessed McKadie. I love that Brian will be silly with me. I am a whacky character and am often found acting a bit dorkish, Brian doesn't care, in fact he will often join in.
This picture was taken Christmas Eve of 2007 in AZ. There is a personal joke behind Brian's shirt he is wearing. Have I mentioned that I would be lost without him. We have so many common things in this life that we like and enjoy. To list a few: country music, western/native American art and decor, camping, fishing, our kids:), good uplifting music, the gospel, good movies, and so many more. One thing about my husband is that he is not afraid to show his emotions. I remember we had only been married about 8 months or so. I was in the bathroom of our little basement apartment and we had music playing while we were getting ready for church. It was Afterglow. I went into the living room to do something and I saw Brian and he had tears streaming down his face. I asked him what was wrong and he smiled and said, "I'm just a boob." and pointed to the stereo. He loves our Savior and I love that about him. Some other times that have touched my heart when I have caught him tearing up is when Hunter and McKadie were born. Or at his grandma Hanks or grandpa Gillman's funeral.

This is a picture before we were heading to the Strawberry Days Rodeo this summer. What a hottie. On many instances we have been told that he looks like Tim McGraw, although I am a big fan of Tim, I have to say my sweetie is a lot sexier:)

Brian and I don't fight. I know that is weird for some people especially since we have been married almost 8 years. But we don't. We don't yell at each other. When we disagree about something we talk through it. We talk about a lot of things. We have frequent pillow talk that last for hours, and no I am not doing all of the talking. We have had some hard times that we have had to deal with, but I am grateful that we not only have a strong marriage, but a strong friendship to back up that marriage. It has helped us through some tough times. Brian is a very respectful man. He opens the door for me. When we are playing games, I always get to start them out first because I am the lady of the house. It is a rule he was raised on. Brian was also raised that you respect women, they are queens and Goddesses. He has never layed a hand on me, and never will.

This is a picture of us at our first Tim McGraw and Faith Hill concert. What a hottie I have. Geesh, I know I am cheesy but I love this guy to death and then some, good thing we are sealed for eternity.

Brian is a great singer. He sang in the A Capella choir in high school and has sang in many quartets and solos for church activities and sacrament meetings. I love it when he sings. Brian is a great dancer. Before my declining health took over my body, we would go country dancing all of the time. We really enjoy and I hope that after surgery we will be able to go more often. Brian is excellent at math. I call him my walking calculator. He can do hard math in his head and it always amazes me.

Did I mention that I love how he loves me? He supports me in all that I do. It has been expensive for him too. When I told him that I wanted to start doing photography seriously he was behind me 100% and checkbook in hand. He is my best critique, meaning he is honest but doesn't be brutal about it. He supported me when I wanted to have my breast reduction. I was afraid that he wouldn't be as attracted to me or would look at me different, he has done nothing like that and still treats me the same as he did before. He is always there for me when I am having failing health. He waits in the waiting room during all of my surgeries and every time I have been on bed rest he is taking over all of my chores and even though it wears him thin he does it with a smile. This is where it is hard for me to say everything I would love to say about him. I have a hard time coming up with words to describe what I feel for him. And I hope for his sake I show him how much I love him and am grateful that we have each other.

Brian is an electrician. He will be done with his apprenticeship in the spring. He is so good at it and he loves it. This picture is of him on top of the catwalk at the Real Soccer stadium where he has been working since January. He was on lunch and no this isn't a grumpy face this is just a picture of him tired and worn out but he sent it to me to let me know that he was thinking of me. For the first couple of years we were married Brian and I would talk every lunch break for the whole lunch break. Now that there are kids in the picture and I don't have as much free time we don't always get to do that. But he still calls me in the morning to let me know he got to work safely, I am super paranoid...I know it's ridiculous. He also calls me on his way home so that we can chat about the day and whatever else. I also love how he will call me and tell me to listen to a certain radio station because the song that is on reminds him of me. What a romantic! Also, Brian hasn't had a guys night out in I don't know how long. I don't ever remember him even having one. I asked him about it once and his response was, after a 40 hour week he doesn't have much spare time other than eating and sleeping and house chores so he said he would rather spend all of his spare time with me. My heart melted. What a babe. It also means the world to me that he understands how important it is for me to be a stay at home mom. I worked for a couple of years while we were first married and Brian and I came to an understanding that it wasn't worth it and that I needed to be home. I plan on going back to school when the kids are all in school full time and Brian supports that but doesn't want me to work unless I want to and the kids are not at home. I love him so much for taking the gospel principles so literally and is faithful to them. There are so many things I would love to say about Brian. I try hard to tell him and show him regularly how much I love him and how much he means to me. It is killing me because this weekend there is a family reunion and I will be in the hospital. I know how much he wants to spend time with his family, especially because he doesn't get to spend much time with his parents or his sisters. So I want him to go and have fun but the selfish part of me wants him at my side in the hospital. There is just something about having him there that no matter how much pain I am in, I feel better knowing he is there.

So Bri, I love you and you mean everything to me and then some. You are my favorite and I just want you to know that I look forward to spending the eternities with you! I love you babe!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOY...Y is a secret Brian and I have...people have tried to guess what it means unsuccessfully and we will take it to the grave with us....

Enduring the Countdown...

Wowsers, I had to go to the hospital this morning to have my paperwork and all my labs done. It made it almost too real for me. I think I am more nervous than I thought I would be. There is a lot going on and sometimes I don't feel like I can wrap my head around it.

I was thinking that I would be coming home on Saturday but the nurse today told me that realisticly I should be looking at Sunday. I have never stayed in the hospital that long. I know I will be out of it a lot so there is no need in keeping Brian home from the family reunion but I have this underlying fear of what if something goes wrong, or what if I get really lonely for him?

My mom will be there a lot for me but there is just something from having Brian there. I told him that on Thursday, surgery is set for Wednesday morning, he needs to bring the kids in to see me. At that point I won't be so out of it from the anesthesia and want to give my babies hugs and kisses before they go away for the weekend.

So I am trying to think of what to take and what I will need or won't need. What needs to be done at the house before I won't be able to do anything. Who needs to be called or emailed before I go into the hospital. That on top of the fact that I am not running on all engines right now anyways and have been down for a while so my house is lacking a good cleaning and I know I won't be able to do it before hand. All I need to do is kill myself before surgery. No one has ever died from a mom being out of business for a while right? I need to not have so much anxiety over it, everything will be fine. It's just my nerves are shot from lack of sleep, the chronic pain I have been in and I have never had as big a surgery as this will be.

So with that note, I know I am behind in my daily tributes, they might be put on hold for a bit, but I haven't forgotten. I will try and make regular posts and you might get more than you ask for since playing on my computer might be the only thing I get to do after Wednesday. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate them all. Have a great week, I won't 'remember half of it:)

A Cool Thing

So I finally looked at it today after hearing some rumors. But if you go to http://www.ldsjournal.com/ you will come upon the ultimate way of journaling for all of us computer nerds. I type so much fast than I write and with the busyness of life it is a great way for me to keep my journaling like we have been commanded...have fun.

It's Official

Well it's set. I received a call from the hospital this morning and the surgery is set for Wednesday morning. I will be in the hospital until at least Saturday, as long as everything goes smoothly. I am anxious, nervous and peaceful all at the same time.

I am completely comfortable with my great doctor and know that he will take great care of me. At the same time I have been having flashbacks of the not so fun things you get to deal with when you have surgery.

For instance:
The nausea when you are waking up from the anesthesia
The intense pain with any cough, sneeze, giggle or movement from your abdomen
The fear of having to use the restroom for the first few times (I won't share more than that, TMI, if you have had surgery than you know what I am talking about)
The hunger pains from not eating for so long and knowing you can't eat until your body has performed certain things
The fear of eating because of the nausea, refer to first note
Making stupid comments that my mother and husband are so entertained by (I don't fear this, I just wish I remembered what I said that they think is so hillarious)

My biggest sad note:
Not being able to pick up my baby for 6-8 weeks, but I will be able to hold her, someone will just have to give her to me...

Things that are adventurous when you have surgery:
How everytime I go under I think, wait I can at least get to 7 this time before I go out, wrong...I never make it passed 9...(I am referring to when they have you count backwards as they are knocking you out)
Seeing how far I can push through the pain, since I have had abdominal surgery before I am somewhat knowing what to expect and I am trying to mentally prepare for that so that it won't be as bad as that very first surgery when I had no idea what I was expecting...
Being able to be waited on hand and foot while I am in the hospital...too bad I will be unconscious through most of it:)

What I am grateful for:
The Priesthood...I am so grateful for the faith and knowledge that Heavenly Father will take care of me and will always have his watcful eye and guiding hand...I am looking forward to the blessing that I will be asking Brian for the night before the surgery.
The Relief Society sisters that have already been knocking on my door...I have only missed a few Sunday's so far from the cysts and they noticed...the sisters have been calling and coming over to make sure I was okay and offering all available help and assistance.
The 2 Priests in our ward...most have graduated and moved on to the single's ward in May so right now we only have 2...they have brought me the Sacrament on Sunday's, I cannot find the words to thank these two wonderful young men, it means so much to me to be able to renew my covenants, and in my own home.
My mom! She has helped with surgeries in the passed and pretty much takes over all of my duties here at my house. She cleans, cooks, loves, mends, and everything that a great mom does. I cannot in this lifetime tell her enough times how much I appreciate all that she has and will do for me. She is one of the most selfless people I know, one of my heroes. Thanks mom!!! I love you!!!
My Sisters...Katrina didn't even bat an eye or hesitate when I told her that I was worried about the baby being taken care of and going to someone she was comfortable with, or how I was worried about Sadie and Hunter getting to and from school. She has offered to take them so I don't have to worry and I know they will be in GREAT hands. Natasha said she will help out when she can...she is a workin' woman! Mindy is moving into their new home so she has her hands full. By the way congratulations on your new home (they just bought their first house.)
My kids...Hunter gets so nervous everytime I go to the hospital or the dr's office. He is so sensitive and he has a special bond to his mommy. I told you he was a momma's boy. Sadie is so brave and always so willing to help. She is so great at helping with some of the harder chores like dishes and laundry and stuff and she does a great job. She takes on so much for an 8 year old. I am so proud of her. And I just know that all 3 of their smiles will make my recovery go much much faster.
My Husband! Brian is my hero, my knight in shining armor. He is so loving and caring. You know how when you are sick you just want your mom, well no offense to my mother, but Brian is the one I want first when I don't feel well. He is taking off work to sit and wait for me in surgery, like he always has. He knows it eases my mind just knowing that he is out there. He is also always there when I wake up and reassures me that he will always be there. He has put up with so many trials when it comes to my health. Pretty much from the begining of our marriage I have always had something I have dealt with. Without whining or complaining he gladly steps up to the plate and takes over where I can't do my share. There are so many things I want to say about how much I love him, about how great he is, about how I couldn't exist without him and I just don't know how to say it. It leaves me speechless. I want to be able to come up with these unforgettable things, to bear my soul to the world, to leave an impression on everyone who reads about the man I love, to make him the image every woman dreams of marrying because to me he is that Perfect man, the Perfect Husband, the Perfect Daddy, the Perfect Friend, the Perfect lover, the Perfect everything. That is what he is to me, everything. He is my every dream, my every hope, my every every... Brian I love you and you are and always will be My Favorite!!!

So onward to surgery...6 days and counting...

Tuesday Tribute #2...

As his mother this one is a little harder for me to do. I make my 2nd tribute today to my little Bubba, Hunter...

Hunter was a trooper today. But from the beginning, his whole life he has been weaker than the norm. He doesn't have the stamina that most kids his age have. In March we had some really hard times with him. He couldn't walk up the stairs without crying in pain. It was horrible to see him hurt like that. After some labs were done, we were told that he was 99% likely to have Muscular Dystrophy but they weren't going to say for sure just yet. We went about just under 2 weeks of thinking he had Muscular Dystrophy. Now the type that was likely for him to have was the type that would put him in a wheel chair by early adolescense, age 12, and he wouldn't likely make it passed his early 20's. I can't tell you how many tears were shed by Brian and I and other members of my family. I will say this though. I am so blessed that I have the 3 children that I have. I am blessed with their unique personalities and their sweet endearing spirits that were sent to Brian and I. My heart goes out to any parent who has lost a child, for at this time in that two week period, I got a glimpse of what it must be like and I weeped, I truly weeped.

So with that part of the history I will pause and tell you a little bit about my son. He is a HAM!!! To the max, he loves to make people laugh. He will come in and say something off the wall and if I start to laugh he will say good I got you to laugh. If I don't laugh than it's something like oh come on that was kind of funny. He also loves the camera as much as his Aunt Tasha:) He is a poser, a major poser, but I guess it can't be too much his fault since he has grown up with a camera always in his face.

Not only his Hunter super goofy, but he is also very very sensitive. He is very aware of other peoples feelings and always tries to console those that are sad or hurt. The one thing that his teacher would continually tell me in Kindergarten is that he is so caring to all the kids, even the ones that sometimes get left behind. I am so proud of him.

Hunter is the only grandson on Brian's side of the family and the oldest of 3 grandson's on my side of the family, there is a 5 year age difference between him and Maverick and Lincoln.

Hunter loves to fish, he is quite good at it. The only thing I don't enjoy with fishing is eating it. Hunter doesn't mind that one either. Here he is with 2 of my nieces, Cameo and Kenya holding up the family catch of the day.

He sure is goofy, this is his turkey face with licorice hanging off of his nose. Here he is holding his baby sister for the very first time. He absolutely loves both of his sisters and has formed a very special relationship with McKadie, especially considering how badly he wanted a brother. There is another picture in here where he is asleep on the floor of the hospital. He was so tired from waiting all day for her to come that he sat on the floor waiting his turn to hold her and he collapsed. He was originallysitting up with his head on his hand on his knee, the arm eventually fell to the floor for support of his noggin.

There are so many pictures here. I try to capture all sides of him. He loves his aunt Tasha and his Uncle Scooby aka Colton or CoCo. He loves his daddy so much. He wants to be just like him and I love it. They even have their own song by Rodney Adkins "Watching You" and every time it comes on the radio they tell everyone to shhh and they sing it together. He knows it word for word. He loves both of his sisters so much and is so good to them.

He loves Spiderman, Scooby Doo, and pretty much anything super heros. He is a big fan of Star Wars and has been for many years. He will hum the march for Darth Vader and tell you that is his favorite song other than the song for him and daddy.

He is a big Momma's Boy and I love it. He is proud of it too. He is such a gentleman to me. He helps me out when I am sick. He holds the door for me and at times has argued with me because I have told him to go first and he says no mom ladies are supposed to go first and you are the BEST lady so you have to go first. He says cute things like that all of the time.

So to finish the story of my little man. We meet with the Muscular Neurologist at Primary Children's Hospital today. He does not have Muscular Dystrophy. Thank you Heavenly Father. However he does have a Metabolic Myopathy of some sort. There are several different kinds and now he is undergoing more tests to determine which one it might be. Well while we are in the dr's office and I am being asked all of these questions about Hunter I keep thinking that McKadie applies to a lot of what she is telling me. So not only did I go away from Hunter's apt. today knowing that my son will have to deal with this muscle disease his entire life, but now my daughter will too. No blood work has been done on her yet but the dr. seems confident that whatever the outcome for Hunter is will most likely be the outcome for McKadie.

And yet another challenge in this life we have to bear. But Brian and I are optimistic. It's not Muscular Dystrophy. I don't think this will be lethal, it will just limit his and her physical activity, which it already does. We WILL get through this. We WILL survive this. We WILL have faith that there is a greater plan for us that we are not aware of. I strongly believe that Heavenly Father will never give us a challenge or trial we are not able to bear.

Hunter, I love you. I am so happy that you were sent to our family. You make us smile and laugh. You are such a ray of sunshine and I can't imagine this earthly life without you here. I love you lots and lots and lots and lots!!!

First of 2 Tributes for Today...

Wowsers, I have been a whole 24 hours since I blogged. Can you believe it? It has to be a miracle or illness, one of the two. So I didn't get a tribute on yesterday, but I have two for today so no worries, in case you were.

My tribute today goes out to my baby sister Natasha. If you cry I am warning you I am not responsible. When I did the tribute to Katrina, mom and trina got after me for making them cry...so you have been warned.

Natasha is the 5th child out of the 6 of us. She is was Hunter would call "boy sandwiched". Which I think is great for her, because Lance(child #4) and Colton(child #6) are both very protective of her.

I have so much to say about Natasha. We have been through a lot in the last 21 years **wink wink** that is how old she is. So let me first start by narrating the pictures I have of her, and then I will finish up after the pictures.


If you are wondering why there are so many pictures of Natasha it is because, well the camera just loves her, and vice versa, but not because she is vain or obsessed with herself. It is just a hobby she has picked up over the years and we have all helped her with it. For crying out loud I can't tell you how many times I have used her as a model for my photography, and why not? She is a hottie!!! So this picture is of her at Sadie's 7th birthday party. These are glasses off of one of Sadie's Doodle Bears. Natasha started messing around and found out that they fit her head, so not only did she put them on herself but insisted on trying everyone for the perfect fit. I think it ended up being my niece Navi.
Well then there is my little Hunter or who Natasha likes to call Bunter's. She absolutely loves this guy. They have such a tight bond and it has been since he was a baby. Natasha would get to come out to Arizona during the summer and stay with us for a month or so. We loved it and it was great because she was one of the only ones from my side of the family who really got to see him grow up as a toddler. They formed a very special bond. This picture is from when Lance got married in April. I absolutely love it.



Natasha and I also have a special bond. When I was 14 almost 15 my dad went to Prison.

Again this is my tell all blog, I will only reveal certain information that I feel is important, other things I will keep to myself. But I will say this, I believe people deserve second chances. Sometimes we mess up, isn't that why we are sent to this earth? To be tried and tested and isn't that why we have the Atonement...'nuff said. I could go on and on. Side note: I love my dad. He is a wonderful man who made a bad choice. I truly believe in my heart that he is a better man since he was in Prison. Some come out better, some come out worse. I am glad to say my dad is better.

So on to the picture of Natasha holding her hands to her mouth in shock and awe. When dad went away, I became the 2nd mom. Mom had to go back to work and school full time so I had to make up for it and Katrina and Mindy as well. I became very close to Natasha and Colton at this time. We would do special things together. For instance. Natasha LOVES music. My family had gotten tickets for an Alabama concert, minus Natasha and Colton. I was so excited to see them. Natasha was no more than 9 or so but she was so heartbroken and wanted to go sooo bad. I was 16 and had a car and what not so my plan was this. Colton was going to be stuck not going and Natasha wanted to go apparently more than I, so I gave her my tickets and gave Colton, this cute little 6 or 7 year old a night out on the town, kiddie style aka candy and Jurrasic Park at the theatre. That was not for a pat on the back to me...just something special between Tasha and I. And yes my nickname is not or will ever be "Tasha" that is my baby sister. I am just Tashina. So again, back to the picture. Natasha cried when I moved out to college. She was heartbroken, not saying I wasn't, but I was also excited to get out on my own. So when we moved to Arizona you can only imagine, especially since I was taking her Bunters from her and he was only 6 months old at the time. So for her 18th birthday, we surprised her and I flew home. This picture is of me walking in on her party. It was great, she broke into tears instantly and I was so happy. Sorry long explanation for 1 picture. But this is her tribute so oh well.

I don't think I need to keep reminding you of how beautiful of a woman she is, inside and out. She is the one of the 4 girls who got that drop dead gorgeous figure and pretty face...what a gal:) So this picture is to show that not only is she a great aunt to her Bunter's but she truly loves all 10 of her nieces and nephews. She is so dedicated and devoted to their every need and whim. She will go on rides with them at the carnival, she will help them hold their rods when we fish, hold their hand when we walk, sing a song in a silly voice with them, and so many more things. She loves being an aunt and I admire all the love she has for them. You would think they were her own. Love you aunt tasha!!!

So I had to put some of her Senior Pictures up...no I didn't take them, I don't do much studio work anymore. Not when we have such beautiful surroundings. Anyways, this is one of her senior pictures and there are more towards the end of this post.
Then there is another picture showing how much she loves her nieces and nephews. This is one of her kissing McKadie to death. So much kissing it finally made the babe mad! LOL!!!




Natasha has a great personality. She has such a fun sense of humor. This picture is of her and Colton on Trax in SLC. We were in a pretty empty car and the two of them thought it would be fun to see if they could help stabalize each other to make sure they could withstand the starting and the stopping and curves on the ride. It was quite entertaining to watch, they couldn't stand very straight...at all.

Like I said she has been my model quite a few times. Why not, she has the shape!

Did I forget to mention that she loves to pose for the camera:) She is so much fun.

Natasha is also the self portrait Queen in our family. She has taught us all well. But I must tell you, keep your cell phones hidden because when you get them back, you may be surprised with a few, okay maybe a dozen self portraits of my baby sis!

Now onto a more serious note and hopefully I can get through this without crying. This last year has been a very very very hard one for Natasha. I will not give details because I want to protect her privacy. This is a picture of Natasha holding my baby McKadie for the very first time in the hospital, the day after she was born. Natasha has had a difficult time in her life and until this point has never missed the birth of one of the grandkids. I don't hold that against her, it just makes me sad for her, especially since McKadie will be my last. Natasha, I love you so much. You are the strongest most courageous person I know. What you have been through over the last year has been really hard, I can only imagine. It was really hard for me and Brian to see you going through all of that. We love you so much and wish for only your true happiness. You have meant so much to both of us for so long. Brian has wonderful memories of being your primary teacher when you were 7, and no not just because it was an excuse to see me, he really bonded to you. You two have a special relationship as brother and sister and I couldn't be happier. I love how you get ditzy with math and the time he spends tutoring you. I love how Hunter jumps up and yells TASHA when he sees you. I love how you hold my babies, even if you make fun of how big their heads are:) You have such a sweet and loving spirit and I hope that never changes. You are so passionate about the ones you love. For crying out loud you make your dog a birthday cake every year...you are the only one I know who does that. So Natasha, if there is one thing in this life that I would want you to remember from me is that you have made an impact on my life that no matter what trials may come our way, we can always get through it, especially with love and support from our families. I love you Pudors!!!